Obesity responsible for 100,000 fatties annually

Scientists find indisputable proof of the correlation between obesity and fatness.
"We are finally able to say, without a doubt, that obese people have a greater chance of being fat than people that are not." Said Dr. Speed, of Lake Washington Medical Institute. "Regardless of if they are lard-asses, fat fucks or just plain tubby, the odds are they are fatter than a normal person. They probably have body odor as well."
Dr. Speed then looked at me, pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger, got up and walked out of the room without another word.

You just made Augustus Gloop cry.